Name's Bill Cipher!
by Falling Backwards Again
Summary: "One day I was just absentmindedly brainstorming ideas for my story, when a certain triangle guy just came out of no where. Literally! So me being my crazy self, I make a deal with him. He answers our questions, some bad things happen to the Pines in my story. I wonder if that was a good deal.." This is an Ask Bill Cipher story. Be sure to send in questions by PM, so send them in!
1. Deal!

**Yes, I did make one of these. You know what to do, questions submitted by PM only, but feel free to review AIG you like this. Thanks.**

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FBA: (Is watching Boss Mabel on Gravity Falls with a note pad. Occasionally writes something down) I never realized Dipper made two people to insane... parallels! I'm keeping that...

(While she looks at her phone screen, a small hole in the space-time continuum opens up)

Bill: Wrong dimension! (Exits back through portal/time thing)

(FBA looks up, and stops the video)

FBA: ...I've been at this for too long. I could have sworn I heard-

(Bill pops out of nowhere)

Bill: Me?

FBA: AAAHHH! (Falls out of chair)

Bill: So it's _this _dimension...

FBA: (Looks up) Well, I'm dreaming again.

Bill: I think I'd know if you were, kid.

FBA: Don't call me a kid! (Crosses arms) I make the rules!

Bill: (Laughs) Really? Well, go back to your obsessive little group, I'm busy! (Starts to leave through portal thing again)

FBA: Wait... WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT!

Bill: (Sighs) Here we go...

FBA: I have so many questions! What dimension did you come from?! Are you a triangle or a pyramid?! How do you know Stan?! Are you Gompers the goat?! WHAT HAPPENS IN SEASON 2?!

Bill: I don't have to answer your questions. (Large clock appears beside him) I have a schedule to keep! (Starts to leave for the second time)

FBA: ...Is this the part of my dream I make a deal with you? (Bill pauses at the word "deal")

Bill: And what do you have that I could be interested in? (He turns around to face FBA)

FBA: Can you answer a quick question first?

Bill: Sure. (Target appears in front of him) Hit me with it, kid.

FBA: This is going to sound stupid, but do parallel universes exist?

Bill: (Target disappears) You bet they do! Every single character created by the mind has it's own reality!

FBA: (Grins) Then you know what I'm going to offer...

Bill: You're one of those FanFiction writers, right? And you're offering to help the Bill in your story somehow.

FBA: Yep! Here's my deal: If you answer some questions more of your fans send in, I'll make sure something... unfortunate happens to the Pine twins while they're battling Bil- er, you.

Bill: (Rests hand right above his bow tie and appears to be thinking) Hmm... you've got a deal! (Reaches arm out as blue fire engulfs it. FBA looks away for a second)

FBA: Sheesh, that's bright! (Extends arm and shakes)

Bill: Great! I'll just pop back whenever you get a couple questions from your little friends. (Disappears in blue flame)

FBA: (Blinks) Well that just happened. Huh. I'll have to put this on FanFiction ASAP...


	2. Hats and Relationships

**Thanks for all the questions! I'm really surprised this got such positive feedback!**

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"Let's see... I've got questions, but how do I get Bill back?" FBA questioned. She tried snapping her fingers, but nothing happened. She exhaled loudly as she sat down. Suddenly, the triangle in question appeared. FBA jumped slightly, but didn't scream this time.

"You wanted to see- hey, you changed your writing style!" Bill exclaimed.

"Yeah, stop breaking the fourth wall. Another writer by the name of catspats31 told me I can't write it like a movie script. So back to good old-fashioned quotation marks!" He floated around slightly.

"Alright, what've you got?" He said finally.

"Actually, a lot of people sent in questions! First, these questions were sent in by PonyFalls. Nice name, by the way." FBA scrolled down, and read,

_Nice! Hey Bill, ever heard of Nutilla?  
Can you apear as a human?  
How old are you?  
Can you make people appear?  
Do you look good in plad?  
Can you do, THIS?! *snaps finger and Bill plush appears* Darn, wrong thing.  
Well. You get the point._

"Nutilla? I think you mean Nutella, the chocolate nut spread. And yes, yes I have." FBA's eyebrows creased in confusion.

"I've never heard of it. Is it good?" This got a small laugh from Bill, as he said,

"Never tried it. Not that I could, anyway. Hey, maybe you should use it on your face! Really would bring out those wrinkles!"

"Hey! My face is fine!" She retorted, blushing slightly.

"Really? It just turned bright red."

"N-next question!"

"Let's see, can I appear human? Well, I'm a shapeshifter, arcane overlord, master of the mind, illusionist extraordinaire. Nope, looks like you're out of luck." He said sarcastically. "Oh, and the other one. I lost track of that ages ago. Get it? I assume I'm as old as the mind itself." He finished up.

"I thought demons would remember their ages. Huh." She said softly. Not soft enough, though.

"Kid, it gets boring. A number just going up by one again, and again, and again." Bill casually said, leaning back in midair. "Much better things to do. Like see how many mortals you can get to think the day's Doomsday. That was a hoot!"

"The next question asks if you can make people appear. Will you give an example?" FBA asked. Bill appeared to think for a second, and then said,

"Sure thing! Shooting Star's not particularly busy right now, just making another sweater. She probably won't notice. But if she does..." He left the sentence sounding happy. He probably wanted her to freak out or something. He snapped his little, oh sorry, smallish fingers together. In a bright flash, Mabel appeared on the floor, indeed knitting a sweater. She was humming something, and focused for once. Bill snapped his fingers again, and she disappeared.

"Looks like your out of luck. She didn't notice." FBA noted. "The next question's simple enough. Do you look good in plad?" She finished, already knowing what he was going to say.

"Of course I do! A plad bow tie is very classy sometimes, and I do change it up sometimes! Oh, and as for the other thing, yes, I can make things out of nothing. It defies logic, just like me! And I see what you did there, a Bill plushie. Fun fact, Red Rose's always wanted one of those." He said confidently.

"Red- what? Never mind." FBA started, only to stop and move on. "The next questions are from an anonymous guest."

_How do you feel about starchan  
How do feel about shooting star and gideon when they dated  
What waddles sign_

"So, afraid to talk to me with a name? Even behind a computer screen. I shouldn't be surprised, you humans all do inexplicable things sometimes." He paused for a second before looking at the questions again. "Starchan? Oh yes, I know her. She's in a few dimensions in Gravity Falls. Also goes by Jill, I believe. All of you "Fallers" seem to pair us together. And some dimensions, we are in a relationship. Not the one I came from, though. She doesn't exist in mine."

"Wait, so someone can be nonexistent in some dimensions? You skimmed over that, Bill." She said, gears turning in her head. She glanced down at the next question. "So, what did you think of Gideon's and Mabel's "relationship"?"

"I knew this race was love obsessed, but I didn't realize how much! I like staying out of these sorts of things, they only add weakness and never end well. When they dated? I don't have any feelings on it. It almost messed up my plans, but that's water under the bridge. Both Shooting Star and Seeing Star would never have gone too far in a relationship." he said in an indifferent tone.

"Plans? I feel like that one kid that didn't show up the most important day of school."

"That's normal. Anyway, Shooting Star's pig? I hate to break this to ya, but animals don't have symbols. Or souls, while we're on the topic. I guess you all are as dumb as you look." Bill laughed from a second, and then looked at FBA. "Any more?" He asked. She smiled.

"A ton more! Here's the next one from an another guest." She glanced at it, then paused. "Actually, I'm interested in this one myself."

_Was Bill human once?_

Bill looked around before answering, and then slowly said, "Well, if I was, I'd remember it, wouldn't I? I don't ever remember being one of you, and I certainly could never even imagine it for a sec-" FBA interrupted him when she caught on.

"Are you saying you don't know?" Silence. "The great, "all-knowing" Bill Cipher doesn't know where he came from?! How is that-" Suddenly, Bill flared an angry red, and towered over her, shouting,

"WELL YOU TRY JUST WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF OBLIVION! NOTHING THERE, BUT THE COLD, EMPTY VOID!" FBA shrunk back slightly, whispering,

"S-sor-sorry. I-I did-didn't..." She stopped, and swallowed. "Maybe we should move on.." Bill cooled down to his original yellow figure and started floating with ease again. He was silent, so she continued. "The next bunch of questions come from Lil ol Gravity Falls."

_What's with the hat and bow tie?  
Does/did Stanford have a twin?  
What did you want from Gideon?_

"So... backstory for the hat and bow tie?" Still silence. "Please? Don't make me use the "we had a deal" card." He sighed, and straightened himself up to his normal floating position.

"Well, everyone, even a shapeshifting dream demon, needs character. I didn't want to be just a floating triangle of bricks. So one day, I was just going about my business as usual, when I stumbled into a different dimension by mistake. I ended up near a "magic show" if that's what you want to call it." He paused for a second, recollecting thoughts and memories. "It wasn't even that good of a trick, but everyone, from the adults to the kids, looked up to the magician. That day, I decided that I wanted to be looked up to just like he was, as the focus of power, and the source for ultimate mystery as well. What better props to begin with than a hat and bow tie? Suddenly, I wasn't just a triangle, I had character, personality, and even some things humans lack. I kept it ever since."

"...Wow..." She just sat there, fixated by the small story. Then, she blinked, and snapped out of it. "Okay, onto the next question! Another big one!" Bill probably would have smiled if he had a mouth. Then, he said,

"50/50." FBA looked up, puzzled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, not sure what he meant.

"He does in half of the dimensions, including mine. I assume the official answer is yes, but that's as far as I'm going into it." He said, taking caution to hide major details.

"I guess there's no real use in arguing with that. However, this next one's bright and clear! Lil ol Gravity Falls was on fire today! Asking all of the really big questions!"

"What did I want from the short stack? I believe you mean, what am I getting from him? I'll tell you what I'm getting. A free pass, a keyhole into ultimate power. Just blind him long enough to prevent him from seeing the truth, and I won't have to worry about anything or anyone ever again!" He said, finishing his statement like a grand speech.

"That was still pretty un-detailed. But I guess an answer is an answer. Moving on! These next ones come from MuffinDino!"

_What does Bill look like as a human?  
Why can you only come to our universe if you are summoned? Why cant you come  
and go as you please?  
And...HOW DID YOU GET YOUR TOP HAT?! I want one!_

"I've never tried turning into a human. I can, though, alter my appearance anyway I choose. That leaves you with however you imagine me as a human. And I can travel between universes all I like, though you may not see me. I made my top hat the same way I make everything, using my mental power. I hear you can get one if Trembley makes you a congressman, though. Shoot for that." He finished up, breezing through the questions.

"Well, that was easy. Just a few more left! This one is from TheKawaiifan! That's the person that has reviewed practically all of my chapters! Chapter eight just came out, by the way."

"Stop advertising, it doesn't work."

"I can do what I want! Anyway, here's the question."

_Can you REALLY show up in person? I don't mean the common question "can you be  
human" cuz we already know you can change forms. Your a dream demon, you can  
do anything in the mind. However,when Gideon summoned you, everything became  
all black and white n stuff. When you left, Gideon Soos and Mabel acted as if  
they had "woken up". This makes me theorize that you are only capable of going  
in and out of the mind and your only power over the physical world is simply  
watching._

"A theorist! Finally, someone with common sense! This is an alright prediction, but it's not quite true. You see, I made time stop, just for a second. Why? Well, if I'm in their little "reality" all sorts of things happen. I could stop the celestial planets just by twitching my finger. I'm too powerful for "reality" alone, so I temporarily transport the person who calls me and whoever happens to be close enough to us into a place where both the mind and the body are equal. That way, I don't destroy the world by mistake. That wouldn't be any fun! It should go out with a giant battle, and flaming asteroids, not because I was careless." He stopped, and glanced over the question again. "I have a lot of power in the physical world. Didn't you see the deer teeth? Do you want any?" He offered, but then stopped. He probably hasn't meant it.

"Hmm, well my thinking just took a whole different direction! We only have three more questions left! These are from cute polar bear."

_I have a question for bill_

1) do u like pine tree in like love

2) have you always been a dream Demond

3) do you like cupcakes

"...I never understood why some humans think mortal enemies go together. I can barely stand Pine Tree, let alone that!" He stopped to sigh, and continued, "But, like all cases, in some dimensions that would be a yes. But not for me."

"That was interesting. I'm going to skip the second one, since I don't really want to go back there and risk getting my face burned off. So, cupcakes, Bill?"

"I don't even have a mouth. How am I supposed to know?" He asked.

"Maybe you could shape-shift into a human and try it?" FBA suggested. He crossed his arms, and said,

"Too much risk. Maybe some other time. Alone. Hey, that seems to be them all! Looks like I'm no longer needed here!" With that, Bill Cipher vanished once more.

"Wa- it's no use. Well, maybe I can get some more questions, he can come back again. I can count this a success, I guess."


End file.
